sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.
(Source: zootedboy, via cliteralshit)
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
(Source: molgera, via jacyjordan)
"Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anybody fuck with you."
— Kate Nash’s advice to college students (via einhorny)
(Source: morganmarguerite, via kingsleyyy)
"Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it."
— (via ispeakquotes)